In part, it’s simple self-indulgence. Sometimes it feels good to just throw your thoughts out on the web for everyone to see, even if no one particularly cares.
It is also a record. Recently I’ve noticed just how drastically I’ve changed over the past decade. I have very few records of what I used to be like, aside from my memory, which I trust about as much as I’d trust an unwatched dog with a freshly cooked steak. I’d like for there to be something I can refer back to, so as to watch the changes in myself, and be deeply embarrassed at what a jackass I used to be. I don’t intend to delete the things I put up here, no matter how embarrassing they look to future me. Hopefully I never will, but I don’t trust future-me yet, he’s yet to prove his trustworthiness.
But more than either of those, it’s a reconstruction aid. I am currently signed up for cryogenic suspension. When and if I am unfrozen, emulated, or otherwise reconstituted, I suspect the process won’t be perfect. I figure it’s best to have as many records as possible of my mental processes and states, available as widely as possible. These might come in useful for gathering personality data, or testing the fidelity of simulations, or a whole host of other uses I can’t currently imagine. Obviously the data won’t last forever, but hopefully enough of it will last long enough after my passing to be of use.
And since it would be counterproductive to falsify any of the data used to reconstruct me, I’ll keep the posts as honest as possible.
FWIW, I think you should keep a similar archive, and also sign up for cryonics. I’m not objectively special in any way, and I’d like as many people to not die as possible.
The name of this blog is in part a confirmation that this is a life-preservation project. It’s also partly a challenge to the people who say there are good things about death. While we can argue subtleties and exceptions and special-cases, I’ve found FAR too many people who embrace death willingly. I was honestly shocked by how many (nearly everyone), back when I was naïve. I’m still shocked at a basic level, although it’s crusted over a bit with cynicism. It’s so prevalent that I refuse to make concessions in general conversation. Death is always Bad. We can talk about fringe cases only if and when it’s been established that we have both firmly rejected deathism. Until then don’t even bother, because I will assume you are another death apologist, and you can go fuck yourself and your death cult worship.
And it is also a simple assertion of value. There are many who argue that the period after death is equivalent to the period before birth. Or that the multitudes of beings who had never been created are in a position comparable to all those who have died – and that if we are not obligated to bring all possible beings into existence, we are not obligated to prevent current beings from dying. I assert that death is bad axiomatically, without any justification. It is simply a terminal value of mine.
Welcome to my blog.
If you’d like to reach me, I’m at embrodski at gmail.